Friday, November 04, 2005

Question for the masses

The Wife and I had a little argument yesterday. The Christmas season is quickly approaching and it is the one holiday a year that I truly enjoy and go all out for.

Now, be mindful that we are still several years away from having kids, so this argument was really moot at this point.

Anywho ... talking about Santa Claus. She is under the opinion that we need to tell the kids the truth from the get-go that S.C. doesn't exist. This blew my mind! She said she didn't want to lie to our kids, and them losing trust in us.

Can I please get some perspective from those of you out there that have kids and how you deal with Santa?

For me, I remember as a child trying to stay up so late into the night to catch Santa. I would watch the news at night and wait for the reports where he was. I would set out cookies and milk and a note and try as hard as I could to catch a glimpse of the fatguy in the red suit.

I know I have seen my little cousins eyes light up when they see presents under the tree that weren't there the night before. I just think that is too much fun. I wouldn't want to have my kids be the only ones in school going around saying Santa doesn't exist and then trying to explain that to the other parents.

So, we argued about this for a while. How for me, Christmas is all about the presents and for her it is about the birth of Jesus. Note: she is infinitely more religious than I am, and her family more than mine too. I'm awfully spiritual, but still have issues with my Catholic faith/Catholic Church. I don't have a problem incorporating the religious aspect of Christmas into our family at all. I do have a problem not allowing our children to believe in something like Santa Claus.

Please, share comments in the comments section and let me know if I'm out of line here. I guess I don't see it as a lie. I don't think really think my children are not going to trust me because I kept up a facade that Santa was really doing all this.

3 comments:

ToddCommish said...

I consider Santa to be a barometer of a kid's sense of wonderment and (conversely) cynicism. Once they question the entire Santa myth (whether because of some asswipe at school or simply recognizing wrapping paper and handwriting), they are growing beyond the innocence of childhood. My kids (now 12 and 10) have known for a few years now that Dad is Santa, but maintain the myth for their younger relatives and friends. I made it a Trust and Maturity issue for my son first. "Now, the truth is that Mom and I are Santa, but you must promise that you won't tell your younger sister or go blabbing around the school. Plus, if you ruin it for her, you won't get any presents." This showed that we trusted him to do the right thing and that he was joining the secret world of adults. No therapist has been needed, so I guess we're doing OK as parents.

BSN said...

If belief in Santa will cause trust issues between parents and children, there would be about 4 billion people hating their parents.

I doubt Santa is the thing that will destroy your (future) relationship with your children. If you have a trusting and loving relationship with them in the rest of your life, it won't be a problem. By the time they are 8 or so and ready for the fantasy to end, they are capable of understanding the tradition behind it.

That said, I wouldn't discount her feelings about Christmas being about Jesus. That's a healthy attitude, far healthier than the consumption-holiday it has become. Methinks there is probably some solid middle-ground that can be found here.

Good Luck!

BSN

Anonymous said...

you are a dumb ass.