Well, I’ve been in a funk for quite some time and while I can address where the issue lies, there isn’t a lot I can do about it right now. I can handle some of it, but actually getting in and “fixing” the issue won’t be easy.
The issue lies with “Am I happy?” Happy about what? Well, that pretty much means anything right now. It stems from the issue that I don’t have a fuckin clue what I want to do with my life. I have ideas running rampant in my head, but don’t have any plans. It drives me fucking crazy. Now, I’m talking about occupation, future, career, etc. I know what I want to do with my life as a family-man and we’ll get there. But, I have to find a way to be happy taking care of my family through working. What I’m doing right now isn’t it. I go there and get pissed, try to come home in a good mood and can’t fake it any longer. The Wife has it figured out and feels like this is her fault because we have to have her finish her higher education.
I know not everyone finds their “dream job,” but I have to at least find something that will keep me interested. The work I do would be great, as long as it was for someone I was happy with.
I don’t know … am I making any fucking sense? I’m going to try to figure this out through the blog for sometime. I know I’ve been distant as hell from this thing because when you are constantly in a shitty mood like I am, there isn’t anything that you really want to write about. Maybe I will just try to get some ideas and bounce them off you all. I just need to figure some things out.